Quote

Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Shitting
Pants
Grow
Stop
Grows
Remember
Always

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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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The Elephant Man claimed his head was big because, it's so full of dreams. Actually, it's because his skull was shaped like a turkey.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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