Quote

Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Stop
Grows
Remember
Always
Shitting
Pants
Grow

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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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