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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Drink
Instead
Working
Like
Workaholic
Liquor

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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I feel sorry for high school teams still named the Cougars. Now what does the coach say? Get out there and play like horny old ladies!
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Do you know what Irish Alzheimer's is? It's when you forget everything but your grudges.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
Dana Gould
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
Dana Gould