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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Liquor
Drink
Instead
Working
Like
Workaholic

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
Dana Gould
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
Dana Gould
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
Dana Gould
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
Dana Gould
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
Dana Gould
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
Dana Gould
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana Gould
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The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.
Dana Gould
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
Dana Gould
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
Dana Gould
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
Dana Gould
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
Dana Gould
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Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould