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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Living
Part
Abandon
Nothing
Thanks
Hard
Forces
Present
Future
Hope
Force

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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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I don't really like myself, but I'm way into me, physically.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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