Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
Dana Gould
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Living
Part
Abandon
Nothing
Thanks
Hard
Forces
Present
Future
Hope
Force
More quotes by Dana Gould
Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
Dana Gould
If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.
Dana Gould
Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
Dana Gould
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
Dana Gould
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
Dana Gould
Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
Dana Gould
We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
Dana Gould
If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
Dana Gould
I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
Dana Gould
If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
Dana Gould
It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
Dana Gould
Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
Dana Gould
The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
Dana Gould
What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
Dana Gould
Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
Dana Gould
I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
Dana Gould
The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
Dana Gould
My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
Dana Gould
