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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Please
Turn
Turns
Pedophile
Coach
Coaches
Football

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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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My dog is so old, she now has a lot of cats.
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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