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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Pedophile
Coach
Coaches
Football
Please
Turn
Turns

More quotes by Dana Gould

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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
Dana Gould
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
Dana Gould
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dana Gould
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Dana Gould
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
Dana Gould
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
Dana Gould
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
Dana Gould
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
Dana Gould