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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Jew
Realized
Goth
Months
Chick
Four
Dated
Five
Chicks
Ever
Costumes
Orthodox
Dating
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Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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