Quote

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Fireman
Policeman
Policemen
Costumes
Vampire
Women
Men

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
Dana Gould
Image
A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
Dana Gould
Image
The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
Dana Gould
Image
There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
Image
How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
Dana Gould
Image
Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
Dana Gould
Image
There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
Dana Gould
Image
When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Dana Gould
Image
Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
Dana Gould
Image
Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
Dana Gould
Image
There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
Dana Gould
Image
I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
Dana Gould
Image
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dana Gould
Image
It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
Dana Gould
Image
Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
Dana Gould
Image
Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
Dana Gould
Image
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
Image
You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
Image
If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
Dana Gould