Quote

For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Costumes
Vampire
Women
Men
Like
Fireman
Policeman
Policemen

More quotes by Dana Gould

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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
Dana Gould
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana Gould
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
Dana Gould
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
Dana Gould
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
Dana Gould
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould