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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Camping
Homeless
People

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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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Life is like The Muppet Show, but instead of Muppets there's anxiety.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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