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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Camping
Homeless
People

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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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