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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Camping
Homeless
People

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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? Give me your cell number.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Competition is the death of art.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould