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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Homeless
People
Camping
More quotes by Dana Gould
Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
Dana Gould
If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
Dana Gould
I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
Dana Gould
What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
Dana Gould
A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
Dana Gould
For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
Dana Gould
Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould
I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
Dana Gould
Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.
Dana Gould
Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
Dana Gould
You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
Dana Gould
Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
Dana Gould
Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.
Dana Gould
Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
Dana Gould
Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
Dana Gould
Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
Dana Gould
Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
Dana Gould
My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Dana Gould
Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
Dana Gould
Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
Dana Gould