Quote

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Material
Materials
Emotional
Feelings
Think
Thinking
Safeguard
Like
Packing
Swallowed

More quotes by Dana Gould

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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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