Quote

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Like
Packing
Swallowed
Material
Materials
Emotional
Feelings
Think
Thinking
Safeguard

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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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I love it when dogs yawn. Especially when it's in the middle of another dog's speech.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
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When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.
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Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding.
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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