Quote

If you read angry political blogs, substitute Obama with my daddy and you'll usually learn a lot about the author.

Dana Gould

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Author
Obama
Angry
Usually
Politics
Read
Substitute
Learn
Daddy
Political
Substitutes

More quotes by Dana Gould

Image
We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
Dana Gould
Image
If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
Dana Gould
Image
Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
Image
Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
Dana Gould
Image
If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
Dana Gould
Image
Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
Dana Gould
Image
It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
Dana Gould
Image
Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
Dana Gould
Image
Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
Dana Gould
Image
My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
Dana Gould
Image
Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
Dana Gould
Image
I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
Dana Gould
Image
Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
Dana Gould
Image
Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
Dana Gould
Image
I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
Dana Gould
Image
Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
Dana Gould
Image
What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
Dana Gould
Image
I'm going to live until I die, and everything in between is just another excuse to eat peanut butter.
Dana Gould