Quote

If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Music
Version
Thing
Represent
Versions
Definition
Definitions
Lennon
John
Beatles
Stones
Counting
Successful
Rolling

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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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Classified ads of the Ku Klux Klan: Tired of all the games? Do you like racial purity, horses and dressing up like a ghost?
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
Dana Gould
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Egg nog. Because nothing satisfies like a cold glass of eggs.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
Dana Gould
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
Dana Gould
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I went to high school with some wonderful people, but my entire high school experience was just waiting to leave.
Dana Gould