Quote

If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
John
Beatles
Stones
Counting
Successful
Rolling
Music
Version
Thing
Represent
Versions
Definition
Definitions
Lennon

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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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I'm a workaholic, only instead of working I like to drink liquor.
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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The best part of chronic head lice is it takes away your fear of dying alone.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
Dana Gould
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
Dana Gould
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould