Quote

If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Thing
Represent
Versions
Definition
Definitions
Lennon
John
Beatles
Stones
Counting
Successful
Rolling
Music
Version

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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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Very few positive experiences begin with being told to count back slowly from ten.
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern of satisfying an internal disconnect with an external stimulation, and that's a dead-end road, sweetie. Courtney Love lives on that road you don't want to live on that road.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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