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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Details
Devil
Boys
Talk
Also
Awkward

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If you encounter someone who pronounces the t in often, odds are they're a douchebag.
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Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.
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I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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What's a farmer's market without some guy singing Here Comes The Sun in a way that makes you wish the sun would stop coming up.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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New synonyms for sex: Going to a family function, getting the hard part over with, anti-fillet. Get it? Sex!
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.
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