Quote

The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Trust
Food
Magazine
Stop
Store
Death
Magazines
Aging
Stores
Gonna
Health

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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How come, when people wear half shirts, it's always the top half?
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Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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If God is all powerful, and Jesus is the son of God, why did He make His birthday fall on Christmas?
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As Global Warming raises temparatures, it takes longer to cool pies on window sills, and I wonder if this whole thing was caused by hobos.
Dana Gould