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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Thing
Playboy
Lady
Weird
Naked
Knowing
Woman
Didn

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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.
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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.
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If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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I'm no longer afraid of not making enough mistakes.
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If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about anything?
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Always remember, you don't stop shitting your pants because you grow old. You grow old because you stop shitting your pants.
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One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
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What men say: I'm sorry, honey. I was wrong. What men think: I'd love a Chipwich. I should go get one.
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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