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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
Dana Gould
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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Thing
Playboy
Lady
Weird
Naked
Knowing
Woman
Didn
More quotes by Dana Gould
Catholic Church reasserts its moral authority on contraception: If God believed in birth control, altar boys would have a uterus.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?
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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
Dana Gould
Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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There's nothing like a string of Xmas lights inside the house to make the whole family feel like they live in a vintage clothing store.
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I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.
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Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to start sawing your own head off.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.
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