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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Didn
Thing
Playboy
Lady
Weird
Naked
Knowing
Woman

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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Homo sapiens are the only mammals who intentionally hold Beard Of Bees competitions.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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If you're selling something on Craiglist, it's never a good idea to end the description with, May have lice.
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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Have you ever dated a Goth chick for four or five months until you realized she was just an Orthodox Jew? They have the same costumes.
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If studies on lab rats are any indication, human beings have a deep-seated fear of a big, scary cat being let into their cage.
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
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Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.
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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.
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Love is like pancreatitis it starts off slow, then builds in intensity until you become consumed and develop violent cramps.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.
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