Quote

Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their phone.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Around
Dogs
Find
Phone
Look
Phones
Looks
Dog
People
Concerned
Face
Faces
Wanders
House
Wander

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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
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Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.
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Know someone you hate? Give their kid a kazoo!
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.
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What if you died, and you found out that when you died, we all went to the same place. No Heaven, no Hell, doesn't matter what you did in life - you all go to the same place, regardless. I know a lot of nice people who will be really pissed off. You'll see Gandhi arguing with the doorman.
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Maybe the next three Star Wars movies will tell the story of how the last three Star Wars movies got so shitty.
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Something tells me that Mitt Romney's sex face is the same as his regular face.
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The magazine at the health food store said, Stop Aging! Isn't that what death is for? Trust me, we're all gonna stop aging.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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I think I had an argument with a hypnotist this morning. It makes perfect sense as I have no memory of it.
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I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.
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