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The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Cadillac
Cadillacs
Pimp
Vehicle
Growing
Perfect
Family

More quotes by Dana Gould

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It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible castle. Set the alarm!
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I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.
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Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.
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As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can turn dude into a wolf.
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Every Thanksgiving we feed the homeless so they may join us as we celebrate other people finding a home.
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That which does not kill you isn't finished.
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People get into stand-up comedy by and large because they're smart and they have a perspective.
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If I had a dreamcatcher when I was thirteen, it would have spent many long days in the dryer.
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It's been years since any hillbilly has reported getting sodomized by an alien. Did they break up and not tell us?
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The weird thing about old Playboys is knowing that the naked woman is now an old lady. I said weird. I didn't say bad.
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Dogs - putting the lie to the age-old saying, I could never love anyone who ate a diaper.
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I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's ball's fault.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
Dana Gould
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Chihuahuas are the perfect pet if you don't have a person in your life who screams and shits their pants every time there's a noise.
Dana Gould
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Getting plastic surgery in your late 70's, it's kind of like painting your house as the fire approaches. Just die, there's no shame in it.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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Just saw a woman with a big tattoo of Jesus on her back. I guess it's an ixnay on the oggy style-day.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?
Dana Gould
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
Dana Gould