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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Look
Debate
Looks
Intelligence
Would
Republican
Gaping
Compassion
Abe
Took
Debates
Head
Lincoln
Place
Wound
Part
Wounds

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To me 30 isn't old. But it's definitely the beginning of no longer young. Because you notice little subtle things happen to you. You'll be in your car driving around listening to the radio and hear stuff like, That's was an oldie from The Clash.
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
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Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!
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Now that the Sanctity and Holiness of heterosexual marriage has been destroyed, are they going to cancel The Bachelor?
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
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My dogs love me. Of course, by love I mean poop and by me I mean everywhere.
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Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.
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I have all my ex-girlfriends lumped into one big girlfriend I called M.A.N.D.Y.: My, Another Neurotic Disappointment? Yes.
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A great way to be left alone on the subway is to appear to be deep in conversation with a small knife.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because basically I experience my life through two primary emotions: fear and suppressed fear.
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Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
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Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.
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