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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Compassion
Abe
Took
Debates
Head
Lincoln
Place
Wound
Part
Wounds
Look
Debate
Looks
Intelligence
Would
Republican
Gaping

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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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I was watching Batman, the TV show, on TV Land, on the cable. And Robin said to Batman, Golly, Batman! Why is the Joker so evil!? And Batman said, Careful, Robin. The criminal mind sees the world through a prism the solid citizen dare not peer through. Batman has a more nuanced worldview than the president.
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Had an audition for a pilot today, but realized I could save gas and help the environment by pissing up a rope here at home!
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If pop music reflects the culture, this will surely go down as the era in which people rose up and realized it was fun to dance at parties.
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Women are like pumpkins you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.
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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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Centuries ago, human beings created marriage. Later, they looked to the sky and dreamt of traveling to the moon. Coincidence?
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.
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In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man will probably end up dating the best looking blind chick.
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I love my dog, but since the kids came along, the petting has gone out of our relationship.
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Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!
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