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Life imitates art but art intimidates life.

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Intimidating
Art
Life
Intimidates
Imitates

More quotes by Dana Gould

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Rejected names for World War II: 'Global Super Killfest', 'Germaniacal Japandamonium', 'World War 1: New Moon'.
Dana Gould
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Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear it?
Dana Gould
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How do I ask my shrink to stop responding to everything I say with, Too much information! and then giggling behind a pillow?
Dana Gould
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
Dana Gould
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
Dana Gould
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I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.
Dana Gould
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Do people in the Ku Klux Klan who die and come back as ghosts have to wear two sheets when attending the rally?
Dana Gould
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The gun legislation was doomed the minute it became associated with the words common sense.
Dana Gould
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This is just a hunch, but I bet airplanes think helicopters are assholes.
Dana Gould
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Approached literally, there's but a hair's difference between You'd better not pout, you'd better not cry, and Don't scream.
Dana Gould
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Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould
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Anything is possible if you believe in yourself, said the guidance counsellor, stifling a laugh.
Dana Gould
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Strap On spelled backwards is No Parts. Just sayin'.
Dana Gould
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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right
Dana Gould
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My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.
Dana Gould
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Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.
Dana Gould
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
Dana Gould
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Why do some bald guys grow ponytails? It it the same reason people too old to run always wear track shoes and sweat pants?
Dana Gould
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The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.
Dana Gould
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We would have never gotten mace had someone not thought, There must be a good way to burn someone's eyes.
Dana Gould