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We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn't have to stop there if you know how to live right

Dana Gould

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Dana Gould
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: August 24
Actor
Comedian
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Hopedale
Massachusetts
Dana John Gould
Dana J. Gould
Live
Come
Screaming
Right
Covered
World
Naked
Terror
Blood
Stop
Doesn

More quotes by Dana Gould

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If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.
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Whoever thought to name a candy bar Butterfinger has either never seen Last Tango In Paris or seen it far too many times.
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You have an obligation to challenge your fans and your viewers.
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I take the Bible literally, but not seriously.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.
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I like my coffee the way I like my women: after waiting impatiently in a long line.
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When homeless people go camping, how do they know?
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I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.
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Republicans don't believe government works, and get into it to prove it will fail. Same with strippers and relationships.
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It might not be rational, but I am terrified of getting stuck in an elevator with a bear.
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Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.
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If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.
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A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.
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Why do old people drive with their mouths open?
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One great way to mess with devout Christians and atheists would be if Jesus came back and said, By the way, you know I'm fake, right?
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If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
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I don't like to generalize, but if you see a guy with his shirt tucked into his shorts, he's probably killed three or four children.
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My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.
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They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.
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Competition is the death of art.
Dana Gould