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I never read the tabloids.

Dana Carvey

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Dana Carvey
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: June 2
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Missoula
Montana
Dana Thomas Carvey
Never
Tabloids
Read

More quotes by Dana Carvey

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I used to sneak up to the 8th floor and watch Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo rehearsing 'Saturday Night Live' and could only wonder if I would ever have the chance to be funny. It took me five years to go up the two stories, but it is such a sense of fulfillment to be able to show what I can do on national television.
Dana Carvey
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I think ABC sort of hoped I would be really like Carol Burnett. I mean literally, I think.
Dana Carvey
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I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.
Dana Carvey
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Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!
Dana Carvey
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A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'
Dana Carvey
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You know ladies and gentlemen, a long time ago , there were lots of people, but that was a long time ago
Dana Carvey
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I did a lot of ridiculous television. Between 1980 and '85 I had no confidence, so I did everything I was told to do.
Dana Carvey
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You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.
Dana Carvey
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I think free speech is probably the coolest thing we have in this country, and again, you can label it hate speech and dismiss it, and then you're allowed to censor it.
Dana Carvey
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It's almost like he's started to sound even more exotic the more people started doing him. I don't know why, but there's just something about Al Gore that makes me laugh.
Dana Carvey
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You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'
Dana Carvey
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While many comics have a secret persona, I fundamentally want to be myself.
Dana Carvey
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I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor.
Dana Carvey
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I'm a friend of the CEO of Twitter and he showed me how to be on it, but it causes such an uproar if what you post is perceived in a negative light.
Dana Carvey
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The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles' heel. But if you don't need money and you don't need fame, then you're free.
Dana Carvey
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Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.
Dana Carvey
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Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.
Dana Carvey
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I had auditioned for 'Saturday Night Live' two or three times before and never really saw myself there. I looked up to Belushi and Bill Murray and Aykroyd and I never saw myself as in their world.
Dana Carvey
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I really enjoy being a dad, and maybe I took it too seriously, but I love being around my kids.
Dana Carvey
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My characters all start with rhythms and sounds. Once I hear the voice and get into the rhythm, the attitude and the physicality just come out on their own.
Dana Carvey