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I think it's going to take three or four generations of gay people being able to get married before it starts feeling less like we're going through these motions, that we're aping a heterosexual institution.
Dan Savage
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Dan Savage
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: October 7
Author
Journalist
Podcaster
Sex Educator
Writer
Chicago
Illinois
Daniel Keenan Savage
Take
Married
Going
Generations
Aping
Think
Feeling
Heterosexual
Thinking
Four
Motions
Like
Less
Institution
People
Feelings
Starts
Three
Gay
Able
Institutions
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Preaching to the choir actually arms the choir with arguments and elevates the choir's discourse. There's a reason the right does it and does it well and triumphs.
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To be gay is nothing to be proud of. It's in how you are gay that you have something to be proud of, considering the obstacles placed in your path if you are gay.
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A huge part of what animates homophobia among young people is paranoia and fear of their own capacity to be gay themselves.
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Sedaris, in his essay in the It Gets Better book, writes that when he was growing up nobody called him gay because you might as well have called him a warlock. Nobody knew what gay was.
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Christmas can have a real melancholy aspect, 'cause it packages itself as this idea of perfect family cohesion and love, and you're always going to come up short when you measure your personal life against the idealized personal lives that are constantly thrust in our faces, primarily by TV commercials.
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We're living through an age of irrationality and religious fervor I would call it religious idiocy. It's exhausting to year after year be on the receiving end of this demagoguery.
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the truth is often a mixed message
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A lot of kids are bullied because of their sexual identity or expression. It's often the effeminate boys and the masculine girls, the ones who violate gender norms and expectations, who get bullied.
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The cultural expectation should be if there's infidelity, the marriage is more important than fidelity.
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If sex isn't an important part of your marriage, you can't beef if your wife or husband does this unimportant thing with somebody else every once in a while, if you have no interest in it.
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I got picked on a lot, even by teachers too. I liked to listen to musicals and bake, and my homeroom teacher found out and mocked me in front of the whole class for baking.
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You could fly under the radar a little bit. You could be a weird kid without defaulting to gay, without everyone assuming you must be gay - that was literally the last place many people went.
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You can’t pray away the gay, but you can torture a conflicted closet case to death.
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