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Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and as yourself, How can I make this person want to do it?
Dale Carnegie
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Dale Carnegie
Age: 66 †
Born: 1888
Born: November 24
Died: 1955
Died: November 1
Biographer
Motivational Speaker
Psychologist
Teacher
Writer
Maryville
Missouri
Dale Breckenridge Carnegie
Dale Harbison Carnagey
Dale Harbison Carnegie
Speak
May
Persons
Person
Persuade
Something
Pause
Make
Pauses
Tomorrow
Somebody
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Appreciation is the legal tender that all souls enjoy.
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People do things for their reasons, not ours. So find their reasons.
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Every minister, lecturer and public speaker know the discouragement of pouring himself of herself out to an audience and not receiving a single ripple of appreciative comment.
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History has repeatedly been changed by people who had the desire and the ability to transfer their convictions and emotions to their listeners.
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How often we all have heard speakers begin by calling the attention of the audience to their lack of preparation or lack of ability. If you are not prepared, the audience will probably discover it without your assistance.
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Practice, practice, practice in speaking before an audience will tend to remove all fear of audiences, just as practice in swimming will lead to confidence and facility in the water. You must learn to speak by speaking.
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If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don't want to be.
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Fear is the result of a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence is the result of not knowing what you can do. A lack of knowing what you can do is caused by a lack of experience. A lack of experience is caused by a lack of doing something new.
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It was this desire for a feeling of importance that led an uneducated, poverty-stricken grocery clerk to study some law books he found in the bottom of a barrel of household plunder that he had bought for fifty cents. You have probably heard of this grocery clerk. His name was Lincoln.
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Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.
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Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don't put off being happy until some future date.
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The ideas I stand for are not mine. I borrowed them from Socrates. I swiped them from Chesterfield. I stole them from Jesus. And I put them in a book.
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Pay less attention to what men say. Just watch what they do.
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We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their selfesteem? We provide them with roast beef and potatoes to build energy, but we neglect to give them kind words of appreciation that would sing in their memories for years like the music of the morning stars.
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We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do. It's only when necessity faces us that we rise to the occasion and actually do the things that hitherto have seemed impossible.
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Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.
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Get the facts. Let's not even attempt to solve our problems without first collecting all the facts in an impartial manner.
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Let the other person save face.
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So if you aspire to be a good conversationali st, be an attentive listener.
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People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.
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