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When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Immediately
Excited
Weight
Women
Hideously
Obese
Diet
Diets
Date

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Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
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Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
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a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!
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Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.
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The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.
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You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
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Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
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it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.
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we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
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Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
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Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
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