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The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared we want ours.
Cynthia Heimel
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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Somebody
Syndromes
Bits
Syndrome
Suffering
Chair
Running
Chairs
Doesn
Selfishness
Around
Scared
Country
Musical
Trying
Dance
More quotes by Cynthia Heimel
Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
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Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
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Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
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Dogs are us, only innocent.
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You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
Cynthia Heimel
success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.
Cynthia Heimel
Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
Cynthia Heimel
A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
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Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
Cynthia Heimel
Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
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Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.
Cynthia Heimel
a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!
Cynthia Heimel
All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
Cynthia Heimel
it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.
Cynthia Heimel
With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.
Cynthia Heimel
When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.
Cynthia Heimel
The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
Cynthia Heimel