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Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Cosmetics
Apology
Makeup
Actual
Wearing
Faces

More quotes by Cynthia Heimel

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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
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Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.
Cynthia Heimel
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Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.
Cynthia Heimel
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
Cynthia Heimel
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Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
Cynthia Heimel
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[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
Cynthia Heimel
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You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.
Cynthia Heimel
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Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
Cynthia Heimel
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Dogs are us, only innocent.
Cynthia Heimel
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[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.
Cynthia Heimel
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We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
Cynthia Heimel
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The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared we want ours.
Cynthia Heimel
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
Cynthia Heimel
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Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
Cynthia Heimel
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In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.
Cynthia Heimel
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Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.
Cynthia Heimel
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
Cynthia Heimel
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Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.
Cynthia Heimel
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All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
Cynthia Heimel
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You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
Cynthia Heimel