Quote

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Suburbs
Consequently
Shopping
Pool
Welcome
Addled
Car
Pools
Cities
Wagons
Brain
Malls

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Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
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All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
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You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.
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[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.
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Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
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Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
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When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.
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We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
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This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.
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Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
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It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.
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[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
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You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
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The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.
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we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
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In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.
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