Quote

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Suburbs
Consequently
Shopping
Pool
Welcome
Addled
Car
Pools
Cities
Wagons
Brain
Malls

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Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
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a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
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[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
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Dogs are us, only innocent.
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The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.
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Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
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[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.
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Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
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We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
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Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
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we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
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Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.
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All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
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The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared we want ours.
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In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
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Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.
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it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.
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