Quote

The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Humans
Degrees
Yacht
Book
Completely
Entrusted
Self
Health
Desperate
Mean
Help
Buying
Mind
Means
Psychology
Lost
Acts
Aggrandizing
Helping
Degree
Twit
Human
Mental
Twits

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In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
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it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
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With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.
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Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
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Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
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Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
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Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.
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Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
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I remember the day we were hanging around the band's commune and Roger came in with the press kit for a rock band (Moby Grape) any of us had ever seen. It looked psychedelic, yet it was done by ad people. I believe the word hype was coined on that very day.
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Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
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we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
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It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.
Cynthia Heimel
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[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
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The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared we want ours.
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Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
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Dogs are us, only innocent.
Cynthia Heimel