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Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.
Cynthia Heimel
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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Clean
Show
Prouder
Woman
Pores
Shows
Enlarged
Lingerie
Collection
Collections
Kitchen
More quotes by Cynthia Heimel
Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.
Cynthia Heimel
Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
Cynthia Heimel
a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!
Cynthia Heimel
Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.
Cynthia Heimel
It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.
Cynthia Heimel
A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
Cynthia Heimel
You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
Cynthia Heimel
Dogs are us, only innocent.
Cynthia Heimel
Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.
Cynthia Heimel
Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
Cynthia Heimel
Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.
Cynthia Heimel
In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.
Cynthia Heimel
You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.
Cynthia Heimel
Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
Cynthia Heimel
we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
Cynthia Heimel
Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music.
Cynthia Heimel
Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
Cynthia Heimel
success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.
Cynthia Heimel
Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
Cynthia Heimel