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We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.

Cynthia Heimel

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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Faith
Necks
Voice
Believes
Woman
Feminist
Might
Legs
Great
Core
Believe
Convinced
Shrill
Really
Mets
Neck
Never
Deep
Suspects

More quotes by Cynthia Heimel

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we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.
Cynthia Heimel
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The buying of a self-help book is the most desperate of all human acts. It means you've lost your mind completely: You've entrusted your mental health to a self-aggrandizing twit with a psychology degree and a yen for a yacht.
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Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.
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Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.
Cynthia Heimel
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
Cynthia Heimel
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a car is just a moving, giant handbag! You never have actually to carry groceries, or dry cleaning, or anything! You can have five pairs of shoes with you at all times!
Cynthia Heimel
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Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.
Cynthia Heimel
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In New York we have streets exploding and innocent Buddhist girls being stabbed in the neck and cabdrivers refusing to help her. If we happen into a nightclub by mistake, when we leave the doorman will be lying in the street surrounded by police.
Cynthia Heimel
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
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[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.
Cynthia Heimel
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With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.
Cynthia Heimel
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In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
Cynthia Heimel
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Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
Cynthia Heimel
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You can't take away knowledge, and it's dangerous to pretend you never had it.
Cynthia Heimel
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[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
Cynthia Heimel
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
Cynthia Heimel
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Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.
Cynthia Heimel
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success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.
Cynthia Heimel
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All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
Cynthia Heimel
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Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
Cynthia Heimel