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Never judge someone by who he's in love with judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
Cynthia Heimel
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Cynthia Heimel
Age: 70 †
Born: 1947
Born: July 13
Died: 2018
Died: February 25
Novelist
Writer
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
Judge
Judging
Friends
Fall
Someone
Never
Pals
Love
People
Appalling
More quotes by Cynthia Heimel
Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.
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Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.
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All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.
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In Manhattan, marriage is a trend. Couples kiss over their arugula and radicchio salads. They fondle each other's genitals while devouring their pasta puttanesca. By the time the tiramisu arrives, they've slid under the table.
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A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.
Cynthia Heimel
Wearing makeup is an apology for our actual faces.
Cynthia Heimel
With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.
Cynthia Heimel
Your whole being is involved in taking care of someone else, worrying about what they think of you, how they treat you, how you can make them treat you better. Right now everyone in the world seems to think that they are codependent and that they come from dysfunctional families. They call it codependency. I call it the human condition.
Cynthia Heimel
This is New York, a combat zone, and everyone has to have an angle or they're not allowed over the bridges or through the tunnels. Let them have their angles, it's what they live for. You've got better things to worry about, like making sure the people that actually matter don't try any funny stuff.
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Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you like, well, a book.
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The country is suffering from musical-chairs syndrome. We all dance around for a bit and then when we try to sit down again, somebody doesn't have a chair. We're running scared we want ours.
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It seems to me, correct me if I'm wrong, that there are an awful lot of people in Manhattan. And it's getting worse.
Cynthia Heimel
You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'
Cynthia Heimel
[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.
Cynthia Heimel
Contrary to popular cable TV-induced opinion, aerobics have nothing to do with squeezing our body into hideous shiny Spandex, grinning like a deranged orangutan, and doing cretinous steps to debauched disco music.
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Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.
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The Pain-Free Shopping Method: Buy a present for you, then a present for a friend. Then another present for you. Then a present for a friend. Then two presents for you. Then a present for a friend. Then go home, get into bed, and pull up the covers.
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The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.
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Women are not ladies. The term connotates females who are simultaneously put on a pedestal and patronized.
Cynthia Heimel
Dogs are us, only innocent.
Cynthia Heimel