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Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Situation
Kerry
Working
Unemployment
Lasts
Turning
Last
Bush
Around
John
People
Started
Week
Alone

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People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
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President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
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President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
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There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
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With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
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John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
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The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.
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I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
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Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'
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The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
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While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
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I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
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Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
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