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President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Men
Mission
Drill
Missions
Slogan
Bush
Drills
Billions
Announced
Dollars
Slogans
Moon
Mars
Came
Dollar
Snappy
President
Billion
Drilled

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While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
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With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
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The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.
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I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
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Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.
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Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
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John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
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John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!
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Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?
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It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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