Quote

Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?

Craig Kilborn

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Duct
Doe
Tape
Ridge
Today
Chief
Need
Chiefs
Ridges
Needs
Yellow
Lowered
Miles
Alert
Terror
Homeland
Anybody
Toms
Security
Orange

More quotes by Craig Kilborn

Image
While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
Craig Kilborn
Image
There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
Craig Kilborn
Image
You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
Craig Kilborn
Image
As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
Craig Kilborn
Image
As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
Craig Kilborn
Image
The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?'
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
Craig Kilborn
Image
The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
Craig Kilborn