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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
Craig Kilborn
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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Minutes
Economy
Four
Better
Declining
Rapidly
Candidates
California
Asking
More quotes by Craig Kilborn
The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.
Craig Kilborn
Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'
Craig Kilborn
If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!
Craig Kilborn
President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
Craig Kilborn
Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
Craig Kilborn
I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
Craig Kilborn
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II
Craig Kilborn
I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
Craig Kilborn
President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
Craig Kilborn
As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
Craig Kilborn
President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
Craig Kilborn
Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
Craig Kilborn
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Craig Kilborn
I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
Craig Kilborn
You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
Craig Kilborn
I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
Craig Kilborn
Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls.
Craig Kilborn
In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
Craig Kilborn
Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
Craig Kilborn
Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
Craig Kilborn