Quote

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

Craig Kilborn

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Goal
Eagle
State
Larry
Running
Eagles
Change
Governor
States
Governors
California
Spread
Bird

More quotes by Craig Kilborn

Image
George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17
Craig Kilborn
Image
I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.
Craig Kilborn
Image
As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
Craig Kilborn
Image
With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.
Craig Kilborn
Image
In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
Craig Kilborn
Image
The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
Craig Kilborn
Image
California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
Craig Kilborn