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I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
Craig Kilborn
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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Police
Microphone
Anybody
Microphones
Word
Howard
May
Dean
Armed
Loose
Scare
Received
More quotes by Craig Kilborn
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
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As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.
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Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
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Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
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You may have heard this, that NASA discovered water on Mars When he heard about the water on Mars, President Bush said, 'Is it regular or unleaded?'
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It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
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The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
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Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
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Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
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John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
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I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
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The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
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Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
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President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, 'I do.'
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