Quote

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

Craig Kilborn

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Armed
Loose
Scare
Received
Police
Microphone
Anybody
Microphones
Word
Howard
May
Dean

More quotes by Craig Kilborn

Image
California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?
Craig Kilborn
Image
Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.
Craig Kilborn
Image
My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
I have a wonderful respect for old people.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'
Craig Kilborn
Image
Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
Craig Kilborn
Image
In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Here in California, one candidate for governor is a 100-year-old woman. She's going door-to-door and asking one simple question - 'Do I live here?'
Craig Kilborn
Image
John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.
Craig Kilborn
Image
Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.
Craig Kilborn
Image
President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
Craig Kilborn