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Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he's going to put it on his wife's Gold Card.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Going
John
Proof
Plan
Kerry
Gold
Announced
Fool
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Plans
Deficit
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More quotes by Craig Kilborn

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As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II
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California's economy is declining so rapidly that candidates are asking 'Are you better off now then you were four minutes ago?'
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President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
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If loving you is wrong, then I'll just like you a whole bunch!
Craig Kilborn
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People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Craig Kilborn
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John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.
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President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
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John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq.
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Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
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George W. Bush even stopped in Pennsylvania to try his hand at the lotto and gave up when he could only think of the numbers 4 and 17
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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
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I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
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President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
Craig Kilborn
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The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
Craig Kilborn
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I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
Craig Kilborn
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Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.
Craig Kilborn
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It's weird watching President Bush struggle with excuses for why we went to war. As he struggles, it reminds us all what a terrific liar Bill Clinton really was.
Craig Kilborn
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Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
Craig Kilborn
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Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
Craig Kilborn