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President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Lasts
Campaigns
Last
Bush
President
Workers
Jobs
Yeah
Created
Months
Kerry
Says
Month
Called
Campaign

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Saddam Hussein is about to face trial and George Bush wants to execute him. Not because of the war crimes, but because Saddam is beating him in the polls.
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
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I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.
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The election is in full-swing. Republicans have taken out round-the-clock ads promoting George Bush. Don't we already have that? It's called Fox News.
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It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'
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Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
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Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
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With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.
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President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
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Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.
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I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
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I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.
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Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.
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I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan - 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars. He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled before.
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John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.
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