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President Bush says in the last month he has created 300,000 new jobs. Yeah, they're called Kerry campaign workers.

Craig Kilborn

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Craig Kilborn
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: August 24
Actor
Basketball Player
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Kansas City
Missouri
Lasts
Campaigns
Last
Bush
President
Workers
Jobs
Yeah
Created
Months
Kerry
Says
Month
Called
Campaign

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I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.
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Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
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President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
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In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
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Bryant Gumbel is thrilled about his CBS deal and can't wait to start alienating the staff of an entirely new network.
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While there's no 'I' in team, there's also no 'you', okay? So back off.
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I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
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The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.
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I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
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Today Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge lowered the terror alert from orange to yellow. Does anybody need 16 miles of duct tape?
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Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.
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President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one.
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John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.
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My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'
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As John Kerry sails toward the Democratic nomination, new questions are emerging about President Bush's service in the National Guard, like where he was for six months in 1972 and why he refused to take a routine physical. President Bush has vowed to get to the bottom of this right after Election Day.
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Declassified papers report that John Kennedy was taking eight different medications a day. He was so wasted, his Secret Service code name was Ted Kennedy.
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Tom Ridge now says we don't have to run out and put plastic sheets all over the house. Great, tell that to my dead parakeet.
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Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.
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President Bush has delivered a new resolution to the U.N. saying that Saddam has failed to cooperate with U.N. resolutions, freeing us to get our war on. Don't mess with us France, or we'll send Jerry Lewis to Iraq as a human shield.
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I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
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